It’s true. While discussing the location of Santa’s workshop with the beau today – namely, whether it is at geographic north or magnetic north – I came to realize how incredbly goth and industrial the idea of Santa really is.
Picture this, if you would:
Santa’s workshop is at geographic north, or “true north”. During the winter months, the sun never rises there, for about 3 months. In addition to being perpetually dark, it is nut-crushingly cold. There is no land, so Santa would have to build his workshop on ice. The pack ice at the north pole is a jumbled mass that cracks, fissures, moves, jams, melts, and refreezes, creating a surface that is extremely forbidding and difficult to navigate.
Because the ice floats, moving with the currents of the Arctic Ocean, Santa has to keep moving his workshop each evening to stay at geographic north. I envision him doing this with antigrav-equipped buildings, that hover with a sinister hum. Think the humans in StarCraft.
The elves would be wearing heavy black thermal gear, complete with wraparound infrared/nightvision goggles so they can see.
It’s a shame the kids don’t believe in Santa any more. I would _love_ to tell them “the dark truth about Santa’s workshop”. No wonder the dude wants to travel over Christmas.